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Being that I am not 13 nor am I 13 with questionable taste, I was puzzled to receive a headless person jewelry stand.
I’d have taken a picture of the actual one…but I sold it to someone on the street and there wasn’t time. True story.
apparently i asked for it.
when i was about 12, my aunt and uncle gave me a set of days of the week underpants from bloomingdale’s. why? because my grandmother insisted on saying that all i asked for was underwear from bloomingdale’s with the days of the week on it.
in no way shape or form can i validate this request.
grannypants
every time my grandmother comes to visit, she brings us “presents.” these usually entail something she has scoured up from her closet of music memorabilia, as she has been a piano teacher for ~50 years. however, recently the offerings have broadened in range. the last two things i received were:
- a set of pajamas designed for an older person. upon faking enthusiasm, grandma assured me that “the woman in the department store said they’re very popular right now.”
- a puzzle. of a still life of various wood shop items. from (wait for it) … 1976. the box was still dusty.
From a boyfriend of 2 years…
Christmas present:
Fancy ear plugs and some nasty clearance pj shorts from pac sun with skulls on them.
WHAT? You wanted me to break up with you?! OK!
For my 17th birthday, my sister bought me an emergency roadside kit. It weighs about 35 pounds and came with a flashlight with no batteries, one reflector and a ton of other stuff.
The problem? Our father is a mechanic and has tow trucks on staff. The odds of either of us fixing a flat are slim to none. Now it floats around my trunk and makes loud noises when I turn.
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Another boyfriend (now ex) who a) always complimented me on how fair my skin was and how much he liked it, and b) had seen my big scar and knew the whole story of how I’d had skin cancer and had surgery to have it removed, etc…..for my 24th birthday, he gave me a $25 gift certificate to a TANNING SALON.
